Three Drabbles
by Crazy Mokis
Summary: Just three different situations, all of them concerning the same idea: Mac's feelings and relationships. Written to get out of a writer's block
1. Forever

A/N: I write this trying to get out of a writer's block so they are not really good but it helps me a lot. The three drabbles are written involving the same idea: he feeling guilty for loving her. Thanks for reading it.

**FOREVER**

Never take anything for granted. I don't remember who said it to me but it's as true as the sun shines everyday. As I see her walking down the aisle I can't help but to think how innocent I have been. An idealistic fool taken away from reality by undying loves and romances written on paper or seen on tv.

True love is real. Only a few get the chance to feel it but I'm not that fortunate. I'm always late. As hard as I try, I always fail at my purposes. There has to be something I do wrong or maybe it's me who is wrong. But now, nothing really matters as I've just lost my final battle in love.

Deep friendships are always a great start for romantic relationships. Liar!. Whoever said that was a big fool like I'm now. With him, I've shared a great friendship and I cherish our moments together. I've been a good friend, he's been a good one too and we could have been good together but our romantic involvement would only bring bad memories about Claire to him. I'm too much involved in his past to start a love story.

That's why he's with her. Because she's smart, beautiful, funny, has strong beliefs…. A copy of Claire yet different…. And when he looks into her eyes, he doesn't see bits of a painful past. I want so hard to be her… I envy her so much that it sounds childish. But I've never been so sure in my life of wanting to be with someone.

She's past my seat now, so, I take a good look on him. This will be my last memory and I won't share it with anyone. He looks gorgeous dressed in a tux and his blue eyes glow as I've never seen them do so bright. He sees me gazing at him and mouths "Wish me luck". I smile widely and put my two thumbs up to let him now everything is going to be alright.

I want to move on. Truth is I may never get past over him.


	2. Answer

**ANSWER**

"She says you love me" He tells me. It's a simple statement but it catches me by surprise. I look deeply into his eyes and I see he's searching for answers.

"How does she know that?" I ask

"She says it's in everything you do, in everything you say, in how you look and talk to me." He says like if he was an embarrassed child.

She's smarter than I thought but I guess a woman notices this kind of things. I fell for him the first time we met but he was with Claire and I decided to go on with my life. Then, she died. He lost his wife and I lost a close friend. I tried to help him through everything and with time my feelings for him came to the surface again and for a second I thought he loved me too. But then, Peyton came. Beautiful, smart, funny….someone to look into their eyes and not see the remains of a painful past. When he looks into my green eyes, he sees memories full of sadness, of towers falling, of cold nights spent awake trying to forget the pain.

He's waiting for my reaction but I'm immutable. I don't let anything affect my outside appearance, even though when inside I'm hurting.

"And what do you say?" I asked him.

He takes his time to answer. He always acts the same way, never doing anything irrational. Each one of his acts or answers it's meditated, thought for a long time. He doesn't make mistakes. He would not allow himself to make mistakes.

"I would like to believe what she says it's true." He takes a deep look into my eyes.

"Do you love me?" I ask

"I think so. I'm scared." And he certainly looks scared.

"Why?" I ask him trying not to show I'm surprised.

"Why what?"

Sometimes he makes me angry. He can't be so stupid.

"If you think you love me then, why are you with her?" I ask him feeling my knees go weak.

"I don't know" he answers avoiding my look.

His words don't surprise me. "When you finally know it, we'll talk again"

I leave the room without saying goodbye. I know it'll take a lot of time before we talk again. I know I'll still have to see them together until I finally get a real answer. But I'll wait and when that day comes, we'll finally be together.


	3. Complicated

**COMPLICATED**

Morning sun finds them in a messed bed. Blankets are on the floor and sheets are covered in sweat from their night of lovemaking. They don't have sex, they make love. That's what she likes to think but she doesn't really know anymore. Her head rests on his chest, listening carefully to his breath, waiting for him to wake up. She doesn't like to have time to think. Time makes her feel guilty.

This thing between them has been going on for a few months now. They both now it's wrong but, when passion shows, they don't do anything to stop it. They steal moments from work to be together. They hide and kiss senseless and then they show each other their love. But he doesn't want a relationship with her as he already has one with Dr. Driscoll. She's been dreaming about being with him for more than half a decade now, but things are always too complicated.

He is awake now. She knows it because he plays with her hair and kisses her forehead sweetly. She knows it's time to talk.

"I love waking up next to you" he whispers into her hair

"It could always be like this"

He takes a deep breath. It's not the first time she has suggested a relationship but she doesn't understand it's too difficult, too painful. He loves her, more than he will ever let her know, but he's scared. He's only loved like this once before and he's been hurt badly. His wife left him without previous notice one September morning. He is grateful to feel love, to be in love one more time, but he doesn't want to loose someone he loves that much again.

"I'm with her now" he says

"Then why we make love?" she asks

"It just … feels right" he answers her. But that's not true. It feels more than right. It's amazing.

She tries to understand but she can't. Tears start to flow slowly from her eyes and he tries to wipe them away with his thumbs. Her tears are like knives stabbing into his chest but he believes he's doing the right thing.

"We could be so good together" she murmurs while he takes her into his arms.

"It's complicated. It can't be"

"Why?"

"It's… It's painful" he finally says.

"Then I guess it's better we stop whatever this thing is between us"

She gets up and dresses knowing she's being observed and every inch of her body processed. When she's ready to go, she wants to tell him she loves him but, it doesn't seem right, so from the door she says:

"I'll see you in the lab"

And she's gone forever.


End file.
